This striking image taken by Nasa's Terra satellite on 7 January 2010 shows the UK deep in the clutches of the current cold snap. [Photo: NASA/GSFC, MODIS Rapid Response]
And, speaking of cooooold,... I've scoured the Internet for the best, and only the best, humor regarding the currently less-than-warm-fuzzy temps we've all been chatting and chattering and shivering about. And with all that chatter, the Department of Homeland Frigidity has finally set the Chilly Warning to White!
So, let your own pearly whites see the light of day as you peruse the following testimonials from trusted inside sources. But please do try not to chatter them too much - ya wouldn't want Homeland Frigidity secretary, Frosty, to raise the Chilly Warning even higher, would ya? On the other hand, I'm not sure it could go any higher since White is all the other colors combined already. Except when you're talking paint, in which case, we'd be running in the Black. But, come on, who associates black with cold??
So, all right all ready!...
Here's some frigid humor! (the only actually funny part of this post)
It's soooo cold that...
hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
I chipped a tooth on my soup!
Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick!
the rats were bribing the alley cats for a snuggle.
Playboy magazine stopped publishing because no women would take their clothes off.
I actually enjoyed it when someone spilled scalding hot coffee on my lap!
Richard Simmons started wearing pants!
a kid could die of suffocation - ya can't breathe with frozen boogers!
McDonalds, Burger King, and other fast food chains have each reported several cases of deep-fried fingers!
we had lunch down at the "Greasy Spoon" - just for the heartburn!
Mother Nature moved out and went south! She's no longer on speaking terms with Father Winter.
washroom attendants were putting salt boxes beside the toilets!
kids were fighting for turns on the rotisserie.
I had to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
I starting using the snow blower on the carpet.
my silly putty turned into serious putty.
Bill Clinton thought he was standing next to Hillary.
I actually enjoyed political speeches. That's how desperate I was for some hot air.
unusual events were being attributed to the theory that Hell was, in fact, freeing over.
some men were starting to think that flannel nightgowns and woolly socks were sexy.
UN weapons inspectors have suddenly decided that chemical weapons might be hidden in Hawaii!
terrorists have started to stockpile weapons-grade hot chocolate!
And THAT, my friends, is why the Chilly Warning is currently set to White!
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